Infinity Spine Center Blog

Spine Juice for the Super Bowl

Table of Contents

1. Who you got?
2. Spine juice, swag juice and the Super Bowl
3. The Super Bowl Spine Challenge
4. 2 minute drill on SPINE ELONGATION
5. A word on inversion tables
Who you got?
Super Bowl 53 is this Sunday and we have to know who you’re backing!

You taking the loaded, talented Rams?

Or the old dudes that keep chanting, like the 4th-grade county kickball champions, “we’re still here?”

Tag us (@infinityspine) on any post showcasing a player(s) on The Gram to let us know who you think is going to win the big game!

Spine juice, swag juice, and the Super Bowl
Are you going to be one of the 100 million people sitting for 4 hours this Sunday watching the Super Bowl? That’s a lot of people sitting on their arse for a long time. Hey, I’ll be one of the 100 million. But, I’m a freak when I watch the Super Bowl. I will look exactly like I did when I was in 4th grade with ADHD in social studies class with Mrs. Underwood leaving the classroom every ten minutes to “use the restroom.”

Static positions, like sitting and even standing, for hours leads to stagnation of spine juices causing your swag juice to dry up.

What’s more powerful than 16.0000 oz of titrated celery juice first thing in the morning?

Swag juice.

You’re probably catching the Super Bowl with friends so it’s not the coolest thing to break out into a downward dog or warrior pose at the party to get your spine and swag juices flowing. But if you decide to break out into one of your favorite poses during the Super Bowl, we’d love to see it in action! Be sure to tag us on the IG!

If you’re at the in-laws and you’re too bashful to hit tree pose after Brady hits Gronk for a little tuddy action on their opening drive, we have a little somethin somethin for that spine juice of yours.  We promise nobody will look at you like you’re a crazy Kardashian. The somethin somethin is so simple, yet so powerful and challenging at the same time. It’s called SPINE ELONGATION. Make a habit of it for the next 2 weeks and see what it does for your dome piece, your spine, your swag, your mojo, and flow. Here’s how.

2 Easy Steps to SPINE ELONGATION

1. Take a seat (can be done standing, milking a cow, walking around at the Waste Management Open, during tree pose, sitting at your office desk, driving in your car, throwing a rock).

2. Next, imagine there’s a string on top of your head that’s pulling you up toward the ceiling.

“Hey! Willy Wonka, someone’s about to take your lunch money!” Poor SPINE ELONGATION.
Know someone that has spine juice stagnation or dried up swag juice? Stagnated spine juice and dried and crusted swag juice leads to chronic disease dis, chronic disease dat, autoimmune dis, and autoimmune dat.

Sharing is caring.

“Easy, Bro! You’re not in 7th grade trying to get a date to the dance.” Ribs are too high and he’s a little overzealous with that chin.
Dude is so into the game he can’t watch! Look at his ninja SPINE ELONGATION though!
Try it now so you are prepped for Sunday when your team scores (see Super Bowl Spine Challenge rules below). You can’t be squirming around like it’s your first hip-hop dance class on Sunday trying to find the ELONGATED position of your spine. As you sit (or stand) here reading, imagine there’s a fishing hook hooked on a strand of hair on top of your head and you need to ELONGATE your spine so that the hook doesn’t pull out the strand of hair.

For my bald friends you have one more step, imagine that you have a strand of hair then proceed to imagine that one hair is connected to a fishing hook and you don’t want to lose it!

Drive the top of your head upward as high as you can. Keep that ELONGATED position until you finish this article. Take note of what muscles you feel working. What’s it feel like? What do sense in the muscles working? You’ll likely feel muscles that you’ve never felt before. And that’s the awesomeness called spine juice, my friends!

This is the guy that goes around trying to hook strands of hair.
The Super Bowl Spine Elongation Challenge

You can’t get up Monday morning feeling like Grandma Mildred after sitting for 4 hours. We have a challenge for you that’ll help with damage control for any spine juice stagnation that may sit in.

Every time the team that you want to win the Super Bowl scores points, you must hold the SPINE ELONGATION posture for that many minutes.

So…

Field-goal: 3 minutes of SPINE ELONGATION
Tuddy: 6 minutes of SPINE ELONGATION
Extra point: 1 minute of SPINE ELONGATION (in addition to the 6 for the TD)
Safety: 2 minutes of SPINE ELONGATION

In order for your SPINE ELONGATION to be official, you must use you phone for keeping track of time. Guessing is not accepted and you’ll be automatically suspended for a year.

Example:
If you are cheering for the Rams and they kick a field goal for 3 points, you must hold the SPINE ELONGATION posture for 3 minutes.

Let’s say the final score of the game is 31-24 with the Pats taking home the Lombardi Trophy. Over the course of the evening, you would have completed 31 minutes of SPINE ELONGATION if you were cheering for the Pats. If you were hoping for a Rams W, then you would have accumulated 24 minutes of SPINE ELONGATION by night’s end.

Don’t care who wins? If you don’t care who wins then you have to do SPINE ELONGATION when either team scores. Go Browns!
This dude is over the top trying to do some ackward version of downward dog with SPINE ELONGATION at the Super Bowl party. Dude will be watching the Super Bowl by himself next year.
2 Minute Drill 
1. Whether you sit or you stand at work like Tom Brady in the pocket, set the timer on your phone to go off every 30 minutes. When your timer alerts you, assume the SPINE ELONGATION posture for as long as you can. You’ll likely forget after about 1-2 minutes because your focus will go back to something less important like work. That’s ok! You’ll get 16 alerts all day long reminding you to ELONGATE. Do it every day for 2 weeks! Juice.

2. SPINE ELONGATION is one of the BEST things you can do for your spine juice. As long as you are in an erect position, gravity is trying to compress your spine decreasing flowage of your spine juice. If you let gravity beat you down over time, reaching the full upright posture will be next to impossible. If you have spine increased curves, like scoliosis or hyperkyphosis, SPINE ELONGATION huge for you!

3. One common mistake that people make when attempting to ELONGATE is overextending (arching their low back) and letting their ribs stick out like the dude in 7th grade trying to find a date to the dance. This causes your spine juices to stagnate in your low back and it’ll cause back pain. Prevent this by exhaling all the way to contract your ab muscles. This will pull your ribs down. KEEP YOUR RIBS DOWN as you ELONGATE. This is $$$$$!

4. SPINE ELONGATION  is a common strategy used by our yoga, pilates, and martial arts friends. There’s something to be said for a strategy used by 3 different groups of people with rich histories in the movement game.

5. There’s hardly ever a bad time to ELONGATE your spine. As you should learn to control your breath in challenging moments, you should also learn to control your spine in challenging movements or positions as well. SPINE ELONGATION is a game changer on the quality of your swag juice! You’ll have puddles on any furniture piece that you sit on when you make a habit of it. 2 weeks, 16 times per day. Set your timer on your phone. Every 30 minutes.

“Yo Cornerman! What about those things I hook my legs in and hang upside down?”
Inverting is awesome! It’s great for helping blood and juices return to your heart from your legs. It will also PASSIVELY elongates your spine. Passive meaning your brain is not creating the elongation of the spine rather gravity is doing the work. ACTIVE SPINE ELONGATION is far superior to PASSIVE spine elongation due to it’s increased brain to body juice flowage.
Cornerman’s Super Bowl Pick
31-24, Brady gets his 6th bling bling.
How about that 6:00 sunset tonight?!!

Have an awesome weekend!

Your Cornerman with love,

Dr. Thoma

WARNING: SPINE ELONGATION CAN HAVE AN ANTI-AGING EFFECT. As with any new exercise or program, please to talk to your doctor to see if spine elongation is appropriate for you.

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